My pregnancy with Paige goes just like the others. I live with my head in the toilet for the first 4 months, lose about 15 pounds. I would always joke with my husband and say, "gee, I need to lose some weight, I should get pregnant." As usual, once that 4th month ends I'm back to my normal self and LOVE being pregnant. I have prayed throughout my pregnancy for a healthy NORMAL baby and I feel quite certain that the Lord has answered my prayers. I guess I'm still thinking that the answer I received about 9 months prior was just merely a suggestion. You know, so I pray and the Lord just throws out this answer to see how I will react. Since I didn't react well He will then surely decide to change his mind and send me what I want instead. I decide to have Paige at home. I'm just one of those gals who was made to have babies, with her being my 6th I feel confident that having a home birth will be just fine. My monthly check ups go smoothly. At 4 months my mid wife Lori suggests the blood work that tells me if this baby may have Down Syndrome or Spina Bifida. My heart races for a minute, thinking about that Down Syndrome thing, but then I tell myself, remember, you've been praying for a normal baby and that's what you will get. Isn't my faith amazing! So I decline the test.
My due date is September 24, 2001. When September rolls around Lori tells me how the birth will go. She and her assistant Jen, will come to my house when I call. I tend to have babies fast so she reminds me to call at the first sign of labor because she lives a good hour away. When they get to my house they will start a big batch of herbal tea on the stove. The tea is great for calming the body and promoting all this good stuff after birth. Then they will pour a nice warm bath for me to soak in after the baby is born. Wow, nirvana! At some point we will call all the kids into the bedroom and we will spend the day swooning and cooing over our new little baby. Yep, this is going to be great!
My dad stops by for a visit with his wife (Narveen) on September 8th. They just stay for the night and the next morning when they leave Narveen says, "This pregnancy certainly agrees with you, you are absolutely beautiful." She is known for saying random, crazy things so I don't think much of it. But it was nice to hear : )
Life is good.
September 11, 2001. It's the first week of school, kids are all gone except for Reed. Eric is in the bathroom getting ready for work. It's a beautiful sunny day, I'm so happy. I sit on the bed trying to get in a comfortable postion with my big baby belly, turn on the TV to watch the Today show. I see immediately that something big has happened somewhere. Then I read the bottom of the screen, a plane has crashed into the World Trade Center. I see the picture of the building with a hole in it. I call to Eric to come quick, he stands next to the bed and we both try to take in what has happened. Reed, who is 3 years old, climbs up onto the bed beside me. Eric and I are now listening to the whole story, 2 planes have crashed into the towers, a plane has hit the Pentagon, the towers are falling, another plane is missing, no wait, another plane just crashed but it didn't hit anything. Eric and I just stare at eachother. I'm scared. My first reaction is to jump up and get into town as fast as I can and pick up all my kids, bring them home where they will be safe. Life doesn't seem so great anymore. It seems like everything has changed so drastically in just the 10 minutes that we have been watching the news. Little did I know just how tragic this would all end. I watch the news for the rest of the day with tears in my eyes and a pit in my stomach, just like the rest of America.
The next night as I try to sleep I'm restless, nervous, still in shock from everything that has happened to our country. It's a warm night and we have our bedroom windows open. We live in the country and everything is quiet. Then I hear loud noises, it sounds like jets flying, but the air space is closed so that can't be it. Then suddenly 2 flighter jets fly right over our house, low. They are headed west, the coast? Portland? Salem? Has something else happened? The noise wakes Eric up and I tell him that 2 jets just flew over, he tells me everything is ok and falls back to sleep. He can sleep so well, I'm jealous. I feel the baby move and I think to myself, how can I bring a baby into the world now, WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?
I'm big, uncomfortable, scared, sad, nervous, you name it, that's me. I start to pray. I pour my heart out and tell the Lord that I just don't know about this whole thing. Is it safe to bring another baby into THIS world? How can I keep my kids safe? It doesn't seem safe out there anymore. I'm tired of being pregnant. I'm worried about everything. Then...peace. I feel complete peace. I feel a presence and I sense that the veil is thin. I sense that the spirit of my unborn daughter is there. I can sense that she is strong, she is beautiful, one of Heavenly Father's most valiant spirits in fact. Her spirit is felt so strong that I almost think I can see her.
I fall asleep feeling so blessed. Blessed to know that in spite of what's happening in the world Heavenly Father is in charge. He is there to send comfort and peace through the most difficult of times. I feel blessed to know that He has a plan. I know where I came from, I know why I'm here and I know where I'm going. I remind myself not that take that knowledge for granted. I'm excited to meet my daughter.
