Whitney, Ashley, Cody, Cole 1997 Reed 1999
I KNOW God answers prayers. I KNOW that God is literally my Heavenly Father. He loves me. He listens to me. He knows what is best for me. Sometimes I forget that last one.
Having babies has always been a spiritual journey for me. Some people call it that biological clock...I call it spiritual promptings. Here's how it worked for me. Out of the blue I would get a "feeling" or a "thought" that would go something like this....hmm, I think we should have a baby.
PRESTO! I'm pregnant! I always knew when I should be and when I was. It was almost as if Heavenly Father had this direct line to me that was so clear! I'm ready to send another one of my most precious spirit children to you. Love them, teach them, help them come back to me. No Pressure!! I was always happy to welcome them into our home, into my heart, and into our lives, the responsiblity was overwhelming at times, but so worth it.
In a six year period He sent us Whitney, Ashley, Cody and then our sweet little baby Cole. Our family was complete!!!
I didn't have one thought of another baby, another child who should join us. Life was busy, fun and happy.
When Cole was about six years old we were on a fun trip to the coast with our four sweet kids. As we were driving along I got the strangest, laughable thought that we should have another baby! I recall mentioning it as we drove along, totally not serious, just throwing it out there. My husband and I looked at eachother, rolled our eyes and dismissed the whole silly idea without another thought.
That was in July, by the end of October I just couldn't seem to shake the nausea and tiredness that was hitting everyone with the first flu bug of the year. Nine months later baby number five arrived. I guess that silly ridiculous "thought" was the real deal. It was good tho, a sweet healthy baby boy we named Reed who had four older brothers and sisters who adored him! I was thankful and happy. I wasn't expecting him, but now I KNEW our family was complete.
Three months of bliss...then the beginning of pure hell.
I woke up in the middle of the night to feed my sweet baby. As I carried him downstairs I suddenly felt dizzy and weird. My heart started racing and I was scared to death! I ran back upstairs, woke my husband and said, " call the doctor, there is something terribly wrong with me!"
From that moment on my life seemed to spiral completely out of my control. My doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. He sent me to other doctors. I had tests. Nothing was wrong with me. I was sad, very very sad. I was scared, of what, I didn't know. I cried a lot. At times I cried harder than I thought possible.
To say that I was miserable would be a gross understatment, I was beyond miserable. There was not one aspect of my life that I enjoyed. Nothing. I was consumed with the thought that I was going to die, right now. There would be no one to take care of my kids. But I wasn't sick. So what was I going to die of? I guess that little detail didn't really matter, I was just going to die. I was going to die a sad, lonely, dark death.
I prayed. My husband prayed. I received powerful Priesthood blessings. My kids wondered where their mommy went. I was just a body in the house going through the motions.
FINALLY, LIGHT!! Two long months later my friend Laura knocks on my door, she had spent hours online searching for answers to what had taken away her friend who LOVED life! The culprit, Post Partum Depression. Why didn't anyone else know that? My doctor? Any doctor? She said, " Sue, you are having panic attacks, you are riddled with anxiety, you are depressed!" How could that be? This was my fifth baby, I had never even had the baby blues with any of my other children. She was right. I got help. I started down the road to life and recovery. It would take awhile, but we were on our way, and I finally felt happy about something.
Heavenly Father finally answered our prayers. I would get better. I learn later in life why he let me struggle so with this trial. I will realize that it was a good thing.
Yep. He always knows what is best for me.
Having babies has always been a spiritual journey for me. Some people call it that biological clock...I call it spiritual promptings. Here's how it worked for me. Out of the blue I would get a "feeling" or a "thought" that would go something like this....hmm, I think we should have a baby.
PRESTO! I'm pregnant! I always knew when I should be and when I was. It was almost as if Heavenly Father had this direct line to me that was so clear! I'm ready to send another one of my most precious spirit children to you. Love them, teach them, help them come back to me. No Pressure!! I was always happy to welcome them into our home, into my heart, and into our lives, the responsiblity was overwhelming at times, but so worth it.
In a six year period He sent us Whitney, Ashley, Cody and then our sweet little baby Cole. Our family was complete!!!
I didn't have one thought of another baby, another child who should join us. Life was busy, fun and happy.
When Cole was about six years old we were on a fun trip to the coast with our four sweet kids. As we were driving along I got the strangest, laughable thought that we should have another baby! I recall mentioning it as we drove along, totally not serious, just throwing it out there. My husband and I looked at eachother, rolled our eyes and dismissed the whole silly idea without another thought.
That was in July, by the end of October I just couldn't seem to shake the nausea and tiredness that was hitting everyone with the first flu bug of the year. Nine months later baby number five arrived. I guess that silly ridiculous "thought" was the real deal. It was good tho, a sweet healthy baby boy we named Reed who had four older brothers and sisters who adored him! I was thankful and happy. I wasn't expecting him, but now I KNEW our family was complete.
Three months of bliss...then the beginning of pure hell.
I woke up in the middle of the night to feed my sweet baby. As I carried him downstairs I suddenly felt dizzy and weird. My heart started racing and I was scared to death! I ran back upstairs, woke my husband and said, " call the doctor, there is something terribly wrong with me!"
From that moment on my life seemed to spiral completely out of my control. My doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. He sent me to other doctors. I had tests. Nothing was wrong with me. I was sad, very very sad. I was scared, of what, I didn't know. I cried a lot. At times I cried harder than I thought possible.
To say that I was miserable would be a gross understatment, I was beyond miserable. There was not one aspect of my life that I enjoyed. Nothing. I was consumed with the thought that I was going to die, right now. There would be no one to take care of my kids. But I wasn't sick. So what was I going to die of? I guess that little detail didn't really matter, I was just going to die. I was going to die a sad, lonely, dark death.
I prayed. My husband prayed. I received powerful Priesthood blessings. My kids wondered where their mommy went. I was just a body in the house going through the motions.
FINALLY, LIGHT!! Two long months later my friend Laura knocks on my door, she had spent hours online searching for answers to what had taken away her friend who LOVED life! The culprit, Post Partum Depression. Why didn't anyone else know that? My doctor? Any doctor? She said, " Sue, you are having panic attacks, you are riddled with anxiety, you are depressed!" How could that be? This was my fifth baby, I had never even had the baby blues with any of my other children. She was right. I got help. I started down the road to life and recovery. It would take awhile, but we were on our way, and I finally felt happy about something.
Heavenly Father finally answered our prayers. I would get better. I learn later in life why he let me struggle so with this trial. I will realize that it was a good thing.
Yep. He always knows what is best for me.
