HERE SHE COMES

This blog is about my sweet Paige, so you might be wondering what my last post had to do with her, since she wasn't even mentioned! The post was to let you know what I had gone through and how incredibly hard post partum depression/anxiety was on me. It took me almost 2 years to start really feeling like myself completely, so you can imagine my thoughts when I was driving to town one day and the thought pops into my head...you should have another baby!

My thoughts went something like this..."Nope, never gonna happen. Ok, maybe when hell freezes over." I dismissed the thought of another baby completely and later that night I said to my husband, "I think you should have a vasectomy, tomorrow." He agreed and said he would make an appointment.

Days go by...week goes by. I've forgotten about any thoughts of another baby. I'm sure the Lord knows that I'm just not up for that. Going about my business, driving to WalMart, at the corner of Hwy 97 and Yew Ave when I get a thought..."you should have another baby." Yes, I really do remember exactly where I was. My heart softens, mildly, I might think about thinking about it. Still don't want to. More thoughts and feelings come my way over the next few weeks. My argument: Look what happened to me after Reed was born!! I already have 5 kids! My life is good! I'm so content right now! I'm almost 40! Blah, Blah, Blah. I decide I'm kind of a whiner. Instead of continuing to ignore the promptings I decide to pray about it.

I kneel down next to my bed one afternoon and pray. At this point in my life I have had many prayers answered, too many to even count. I am very aware of Heavenly Fathers love for me, I know that I am his daughter. I have no doubt that he answers prayers. I'm very thankful to know this. I ask him if we should have another baby, then the most amazing thing happens...He answers me, but he answers me in a way that he has never answered me before, I hear, literally hear a voice that says, "YES! you will have a baby girl. She will have Down Syndrome." My heart starts to race, my mind starts to race. I didn't see that coming. I can't even wrap my brain around that answer, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I ignore that amazing answer I just received and remind my husband to get that vasectomy. Where in the world is my faith!? I am so thankful for a PATIENT, loving Heavenly Father.

I soon discover that I am pregnant. My first thought..."Here she comes." I don't tell anyone about my answered prayer. I now have 9 months to plead and beg with my Heavenly Father to send me a normal, healthy child. I'm not too worried about it, afterall, he always answers my prayers. : )








September 2001. Paige is born.